- dedicated to all of you who have supported me and prayed me through this summer
I just finished my debrief session in SC (a week ago) where I spent time reflecting and writing about this summer. During our sessions, Tom encouraged us to try and sum up our time this summer to help us share our experiences with others. What my summer boils down to is this- as I spent time, energy, and prayer pouring into both little and big people at Casa Bernabe, I received overwhelmingly more blessings in turn.
And because the blessings were so apparent I am sitting here in the airport state side looking back on the long days spent with 17 toddlers and some amazing house moms and I wish I could remember the moments of sheer exhaustion more vividly to ease the homesickness for Guatemala. All I can seem to remember is how precious my new family became to me. And if only I remembered what it felt like for the alarm to go off at 5:20, if only I could remember what it was like to be the one to orchestrate nap times or bedtimes when I needed a nap myself, if only I could remember the frustration of disciplining children who decided to laugh in my face, if only I could remember that terrible smell of po-po every morning and diaper change... if only these memories hadn’t faded in light of the memories of the blessings then maybe the homesickness would ease.
Because what has stuck in my mind is Claudia sitting in her bunk in the morning with her head propped in her hands smiling- Bueno Dias Nena. (short for Lorena) Buenos dias mi amor, good morning my love. I am missing you right now.
What has stuck in my mind is Jose pequeno sitting on the armrest of the sofa stroking my hair that was wet from the rain and every time I would turn and look at him, he would smile his toothless smile and lean over and kiss me on the cheek.
What is engrained into my memory is hugging Magali, Alex, and Rosa when I dropped them off at school and them telling me- Necesitas besitos! You need a little kiss. I would get my kisses and tell them to behave well at school. Si Lorena…
What I will really never forget is Jose David whispering to me during Dora, Lorena, te queiro mucho! ...David, te quiero mucho tambien. I love you David.
These are the blessings that immersed me in joy during my time this summer. And as much as I know that the hard parts of this trip are fading fast from my mind, I also know that the blessings of the beautiful memories only actually came about after the exhausting times when I was obedient to pour out. The biggest blessings only came about after the biggest sacrifices.
For example, Claudia who loves me now, was my worst nightmare the first 2 weeks. She would not listen to me or interact with me positively- she only whined at me. I had no patience left for her and after a couple weeks of working at the house, we started disciplining as well as playing with the kids. Because we were willing to do timeouts and change diapers and spend time at the house just doing dishes, we started gaining Claudia's love. As we affectively put Claudia in timeout and would even take her back to her bed when she started throwing fits, she not only started responding to our authority, she started playing with us. She learned my name and would come up to me and have me sing her a song. (Which I would only do until she didn’t want me to sing with her anymore and would hush me so she could finish the song.)
And Jose pequeno, who was the first to run up to me at the end of our time (and may or may not be my favorite little boy who squirmed his way into my heart) really didn’t pay attention to me very much at all until we started helping with diaper duty (there are only 4 not potty trained in the house.) Andrea and I would take turns changing this little guy’s diaper because he reeked. Every time he had po-po all the kids would tell us because none of them wanted to play with him when he had pooped because he smelled so bad. Bringing Jose down to the house to shower him down after he had po-po was a sacrifice and there were plenty of times when I felt sick to my stomach thanks to him. But Jose loves water, so once he got over the fact that we had interrupted his playing in order to change his diaper, he would get all excited to be in the shower. We laughed every time I bathed him and it was all I could do to get him to not jump in the shower. The face time with him, bathing him and wrapping him up in the towel made me credible and worthy of his love. It was only through the po-po that I could earn the giggles and incessant kisses on the cheek.
And thus the story of my summer goes, it was because we started going early to the house that we got to bring the kids to school. It was only because we spent so much time watching the kids that Jose grew in trust and love for me, enough to tell me he loved me every day the last week we were there. (Yeah thanks for that timing buddy…) It was because we disciplined that we became lovable to Claudia and others, and it was because we were there constantly meeting their needs that they loved us enough to cry when we put them to bed that last night.
My summer in a sentence- as I spent time, energy, and prayer pouring into both little and big people at Casa Bernabe, I received overwhelmingly more blessings in turn.
Thank you for being witnesses and enabling me to experience the Lord’s work this summer. He is at work loving and restoring precious and broken little kids to health and wholeness and I got to be a part of it thanks to you all. Family and friends, you have poured out in me and I pray that you all are blessed in turn by my kids just as they have blessed me.
This is the Lord’s doing, it is marvelous in our eyes. Let us rejoice and be glad. Psalm 118. (check out Mosaic’s song to catch my spirit here.)
