No, he is not safe. But he is good.

God is not safe, but oh he's been good.
When I came here I came with strange fears like the fear of getting a weird stomach bug and being stuck in the bathroom for weeks. Or with the fear that I would be lacking things that I needed, thus I over packed with cliff bars and a jumbo contact solution. Or with the fear that I would feel alone or perhaps so estranged to people here that I wouldn't be able to form strong relationships. Or the fears of sweating my brains out and getting lice.
And after I said goodbye to Tommy at the airport and was sitting in my seat before taking off, not knowing where the heck I was actually going, I sat there and told God that this summer was going to be hard enough and he best stop sending me places. I told him I didn't think I could do this whole charade where I leave my boyfriend and my parents at the terminal not knowing when I would get to talk to them and skip off to a strange land where I didn't know what anything would be like. I told him that I would probably be better off learning important life lessons a little closer to home- somewhere where I wouldn't look like the dumb gringo.
And here I am. My fears- void. My experiences- wouldn't trade them. Instead my fears becoming reality this summer has been a time where I continually thought, I can't imagine what I would be missing out on if I had stayed in my comfort zone.
The staff here are people I would not want to miss out on knowing. The women who run my house of 17 kids are only 19 and 21 and they are amazing at loving and caring for these kids, and thus I have seen God do the impossible through them. Their drive in life has left me wanting more of the crazy things God might have for me because they are definitely not going to settle.
Not only the staff but being able to see this country- a huge blessing. Our hotel that was on a lake surrounded by volcanoes took so much to actually get to, and yet because we were willing to trek, we got to experience the most amazing view. Even here when I wash dishes I get to look out at the mountains and be still.
And not to mention the kids. I get more hugs and kisses everyday than I thought I'd ever need. And how precious is it to see a kid's face light up when I come to their house in the morning or after nap time. I don't deserve for the little girl to look at me every morning and yell "Lorena!!" Smile, head tilt, "Lorena." Smile, "Buenos dias Lorena!" finished by a giggle and a hug. And here I thought this trip was about me sacraficing so that I could pour out what God had given me to others. That's partially true, but more so I am being poured into.
Because as it turns out, God is not a vindictive teacher who wants to move us to the next level of excruciating work so we grow and achieve more. He's not waiting for us to complete one level of faith and understanding so that he can assign us a new research paper at the next level. And I'm convinced that he's not a carver, waiting with a knife to carve out the nasty in us to make us something beautiful in the end. He's a potter who sometimes pumps the wheel so fast that it tickles, or who speeds up the wheel because he knows we can feel his hands better when he does.
God is the overexcited dad who makes his daughter go on the roller coaster even though she thinks she is not ready. He is the dad who takes his daughter skiing on the black slopes and when they get to the top of the hill he exclaims- follow me! Because he wants his girl to experience not only the view but the crazy ride down even though she's scared to death and he knows it. (sound familiar dad?) God doesn't want us to miss out. He's not a germaphobe. He's not concerned with his kids getting their clothes dirty or even with them getting a few bruises. In fact, they will get a bit beat up along the way- that's inevitable because he is not safe.
And that means that life holds some terrifying moments where we are standing on the top of the ski hill looking at the moguls wanting to bail- moments like on the airplane where I was skeptical and a little bitter. But once we go, without fail, there's more than we could ever have imagined on the way down. And God is right there snapping pictures yelling "I told you so! Now come on, there's more!"

So God, you are not safe. You are crazy in fact. And I am thankful because this has been a ride- the view, the people, the blessing- they wouldn't have happened if you hadn't dragged me on the ski lift and zoomed down the trail in front of me yelling "come on already!"

Romans 8:28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good...